POO

I woke up at 10am this morning, 5 mins before I was due to leave for work.

I leaped out of bed and into my clothes.

I removed my makeup and reapplied new stuff.

I swept my hair into a fabulous plait at the back of my neck, and with that, stepped out of the door into the sunshine.

I was running 5 mins late, but I was doing well!

5 minutes later: *smack* (literally)

A fucking huge sea-gull did a poo on me.

On my head, my shoulders and my shoes.

I was 10 mins late for work, and I was covered in poo.