Turn Back The Clock....

Well.

Maybe it's the fact that it is September, and like I mentioned in an earlier post, I feel a sense of longing nostalgia, but I really, really feel like a teenager again.

It's almost impossible to explain, I think, but the overpowering, all-encompassing feelings of exagerated emotion are taking over, on and off, throughout the day. Not that this is necessarily a bad thing; it's not the angsty dispair I felt all too often, it's more an intoxicating, heady, dangerous and lusty joie de vivre. Very much akin to the excitement that comes with kissing the boy you've admired for such a long time, in the rain in the summertime, like a scene stolen from a romantic film and magnifed a thousand times over. At least, that's sort of how it feels. I think it still falls short somewhere

I really have no idea where this is coming from, how long it will last, or indeed, if I'm even ok with it - it is making life very difficult to concentrate on. It has happened to me before, more than once, but as it happened to coincide with me falling out of love and lust with the current boy of the day and chasing after someone new, I just put it down to that - cold feet and a very warm heart.

But that's not it at all this time. I'm deeply in love with Phil. Everything about him completes me and I've never felt this amazing with anyone. It's more than surface euphoria and lust, I really, completely and utterly adore him.

Yet somehow, the lyrics from emo songs resonate within my heart (My Chemical Romance? Wtf?), and the words off the page from the novel I can't put down yet again feel like they are fitting into places I didn't even know were empty, in my head.

Goodness me.

I think I might need to go and lie down for a minute.